Father's Day Book Picks and Free eBooks!

If you're searching for a great book to give dear old Dad for father's Day then look no further. You've definitely come to the right place! Below is a list of my Daddy's Day picks. To read the full descriptions follow the link to my Bookalicious Blog in the Yummy Mummy Club. Please leave comments if it moves you to do so!


The Nine Lessons (Center Street- Hachette Book Group, 2009)
Author: Kevin Alan Milne

Pacify Me: A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad (Simon & Schuster, 2009)
Author: Chris Mancini

Lamentations Of The Father: Essays (St. Martin’s Press, 2009)
Author: Ian Frazier

What Every Man Should Know About Being a Dad (Routledge, 2009)
Author: David Cohen

I Am My Father's Son (Harper Collins Publishers, 2009)
Author: Dan Hill

The Daddy Shift: How Stay-at-Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms, and Shared Parenting Are Transforming the American Family (Beacon Press, 2009)
Author: Jeremy Adam Smith

It's the Best Day Ever, Dad! (Harper Collins Publishers, 2009)
Author: Brooke Shields

The Last Lecture (Hyperion, 2008)
Authors: Randy Pauch, Jeff Zaslow

Tuesdays With Morrie (Doubleday, 1997)
Author: Mitch Albom


Free eBooks!

HER FATHER'S DAUGHTER
by Gene Stratten-Porter

FATHER AND SON
by Edmund Gosse


Get Dad to check out the free 32-page ebook by Brett McKay from The Art of Manliness. They've also compiled 100 books they call the Essential Man's Library.

Just in case you can't resist giving Dad a tie, that old standby, then check this out for fun! How do you tie a tie? See the link below:

http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/05/how-to-tie-a-tie/

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!

When I was invited to review the book 10-10-10 written by Suzy Welch I must admit that I was a bit skeptical about a self-help book claiming to solve our decision-making dilemmas. Suzy Welch is a bestselling co-author of Winning along with her husband Jack Welch, former Chairman and CEO of General Electric. As a journalist, author and public speaker, Welch has a list of credits to her name as the former editor of the Harvard Business Review and columnist as a life /work balance for O, The Oprah Magazine and Business Week Magazine, just to name a few.

Suzy Welch has developed a strategy she’s dubbed 10-10-10 to help us make decisions. The 10-10-10 system is a guide that breaks up time into three frames of 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. These time frames are not to be taken literally, but suggest the immediate present, mid-term and distant future. Welch felt that she had been making decisions based on her immediate circumstances and living too much in the present with little consideration for the long term consequences. Welch knew that her life was off-kilter and after a disastrous business trip she experienced a eureka moment. It was after this pivotal experience that she developed the 10-10-10 approach as a decision-making guide for life.

When making decisions, we sometimes get hung up at the onset with too many options, too many choices, too many unknowns and too many questions. Suzy Welch says the first thing we need to decide is how to frame our dilemma with a defined question. We can seek out advice from family, friends, co-workers. Sometimes we rely on our gut instincts or we let guilt guide our lives. In some instances we can leave the decision-making up to fate as if to say, what will be, will be. Welch warns about the influences of stress, impulse and expedience in the decision-making process.

Another crucial part of the 10-10-10 system involves defining one’s core values, beliefs, goals, dreams and needs. This can be easier said than done, but Welch gives tips and questionnaires to help guide us in this personal analysis.

The 10-10-10 decision-making process purports to help the 10-10-10ers in all areas of life including, family, parenting, love, friends and career. Welch shares candid examples of her personal struggles and supplies a broad variety of 10-10-10 stories from her ever-expanding circle of followers. Welch provides practical advice on how to implement the 10-10-10 process whether it’s in the form of a written list or an internal dialogue.

10-10-10 claims that following the decision-making process can be transforming and make us more at peace with our decisions, in turn leading to an authentic existence. It doesn’t report to be an easy process and the author mentions that the process can take time in some instances where more data is needed to make an informed decision. The 10-10-10 system requires emotional work, discipline and commitment. 10-10-10ing will give insights and an understanding of how and why your decisions and choices are made.

Suzy Welch puts it all into perspective when she states,

“…beginnings and endings are part of the human condition. We are all living; we are all dying. In between we have the gift of deciding how.”

Would you rather make decisions based on gut and guilt or would you prefer to guide your decisions with the clarity and confidence of living an authentic life? If the latter sounds better, it would be a good decision to pick up a copy of 10-10-10. Then when you hit another proverbial fork in the road, instead of complaining decisions, decisions, decisions, you can now exclaim 10-10-10!

See the link and video below for more info.

http://www.suzywelch101010.com/

http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/mAMAREB12J9GF

Wanderlust and Wine

An Author & Addicts Autobiography

So many lives are touched by addictions, whether it is from personal habits or the influence of an addicted spouse, family member, friend or co-worker. Some take on the role of enabler in a futile attempt to help or hide the loved one’s addiction. The addicted person might go to great lengths to hide their addiction from the world but the real truth is they are hiding from them self in their addiction.

In the autobiography Loaded: Women and Addiction, author Jill Talbot gives a candid account of her struggles with addiction. Talbot takes the reader back to her family history and relays the influence of her family legacy- alcoholism. Talbot’s mother attempted to shield her family from the grandmother’s alcohol addiction. Her father held a distain for anything connected with booze or bars and aimed to give his children a tea totalling upbringing. Talbot’s parents considered her to be a “wild child” with an obsessive compulsive nature and prone to risk taking behaviours. In the typical style of a self fulfilling prophesy, “Jilly” started drinking at age 15 and moved on to experiment with pot and drugs. To add more drama to the picture, the author reveals her addiction to sex with a particular affinity for married men. In her twenties, the wanton Talbot admits to enjoying the fleeting nature of her affairs and the infamous status of being the other woman. Talbot eventually swears off married men after her partner leaves her for another woman a few short months after she gave birth to their daughter.

Talbot’s poison is, and probably still is, wine. She describes herself,

“I am a college professor, a mother, a wanderer, a distant person. I am ritualistic, fearful of confrontation, a runner, a heavy drinker.”

She tries to function as a reliable and responsible adult stating, “I’ve always been good at living in two worlds- the halls of the English department by day, the bar stools of some joint by night.”
Talbot has a sense of wanderlust, a need to escape and “get away from herself.” She states, “We don’t know how far we can go until we’ve gone too far”. She has an insatiable drive to do just that- drive. The author recounts a dizzying number of alcohol fuelled road trips zigzagging across borders in Colorado, Mexico, Nevada, Texas, New Mexico, Utah and Oklahoma.

When Jill Talbot finally sinks to the bottom of the wine bottle she checks herself into a rehabilitation centre. She finds the writing exercises difficult and refers to the experience as “a writer’s workshop for drunks.” Talbot’s intellectual status as an English professor and an accomplished writer hinder the truthfulness in her writing. She struggles with sharing her autobiography and reflects that “It was hard for the rehab to get past the writer and get to the wino.” The impression here is that the author needs to dig deeper to find her truth. I sense that Talbot is just starting to graze the surface and not telling the whole story of what really fans the fires of her addictions. Talbot leaves the reader as she approaches the milestone age of forty and claims that she has a “firm hold on her drinking” and limits herself to moderate drinking. I imagine that Talbot’s blame and shame strategy to dealing with her addictions will undoubtedly lead her to back to rehab.

Talbot doesn’t come up with any clear answers in her quest for sobriety; a clear head as it were. How can she find the answers without asking herself the difficult questions?
Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

COFFEE TABLE WORTHY BOOKS

Coffee table books might not be something you think to buy as gifts to give let alone buy for yourself. Whether they’re for gift giving or decorating, coffee table books are a great idea any way you pile them! Coffee table books are not meant to be tucked into book shelves and best strew about on any surface that draws a passerby’s attention. More than frivolous picture books, good coffee table books should be over sized hardcovers, capture your attention and be hard to put down. No matter the subject, it should have plenty of visuals to stimulate more than just your eyes. Coffee table books should be informative but not too wordy and bonus marks if they have an element of entertainment. Imagine throwing a dinner party and then serving after dinner drinks to your guests. A good selection of coffee table books can help get the conversation going. Recently I had a gathering and found my copy of Deepak Chopra’s Kama Sutra floating among the guests.
Another handy idea for buying coffee table books is to give them as gifts. For instance, you can pair up the book’s topic with the gift receiver’s hobbies. A few years back my brother started his own tradition of giving coffee table books as gifts and as a recipient I can appreciate the personal attention he gives to my particular interests.
So with these thoughts in mind I would like to suggest a few current coffee table books for you to peruse.


Life: The Classic Collection
Life Magazine

This collection of the 100 best Life Magazine images should conjure up memories from past eras. Like the old adage says, a picture is worth a thousand words. Do you recall the poster of the sailor kissing the nurse? This book contains plenty of recognizable photos and to sweeten the deal, they’ve also included 25 frame ready pop-out prints. This book is perfect for anyone who likes to take a trip down memory lane. I recommend you buy two copies, one to give and one to keep!

Legends of Rock: The Artists, Instruments, Myths and History of 50 Years of Youth Music
Ernesto Assante

This book displays a wonderful montage of pop culture music icons and influences spanning the past fifty years. Like a catchy chorus that you can’t get out of your head this book will be hard to put down. Whether candid or posed, the photos of music idols, album covers and rock memorabilia will surely drum up some of your own memories and tunes. Definitely a choice for the rock music buff but be warned this heavy hitter hogs the coffee table!

O’s Big Book of Happiness: The Best of O, The Oprah Magazine, Wisdom, Wit, Advice, Interviews, and Inspiration
O, The Oprah Magazine

The third collection of Oprah’s successful Best of O, The Oprah Magazine Series. The title basically says it all! Based on the monthly O, The Oprah Magazine, the media maven has amassed a collection of her favourite 100+ articles. The topics deal with relationships, career, and health issues plus the life lessons from an esteemed list of writers, artists, politicians and entrepreneurs. If you enjoy all things Oprah or want to learn about women’s issues then this book is for you or for you to give to any lucky female.

One Hundred Greatest Canadian Sports Moments
James Bisson

Assisted by a panel of eighteen sports media personalities, sports Journalist James Bisson has listed and ranked a rich collection of 100 memorable sports moments in Canada. Bisson highlights 25 sports that showcase Canada’s diverse history in sports. The sports fan will no doubt gravitate toward this book and the list picks might draw some debate! No matter your sport preference, there’s something in this book for every proud Canadian.


Deepak Chopra Kama Sutra
Deepak Chopra

Spiritual guru Deepak Chopra gives his unique spiritual view of sex and sensuality. This book is a far departure from the instructional manual of kama sutra poses. Chopra gives the reader plenty of history and wisdom in his modern interpretation of the kama sutra, balancing the images of beautiful artwork. Far from pornographic, the sensual images wouldn’t make the average adult blush. There should be no concern about this book falling into the wrong hands but if need be then keep it on the bedroom nightstand!


Independent Spirit: Early Canadian Women Artists
A.K. Prakash

This concise collection of art showcases early Canadian women artists and celebrates both the trailblazers and the masters of their art. This book contains descriptive artist biographies, full page images of beautiful works of art and an annotated index of 564 Canadian female artists. This book is a must for collectors, scholars and anyone who has an appreciation for Canadian art.

Treat This Book Like A Bad Date: Forget It And Move On!

As a freelance writer I was recently tasked with reading and reviewing a current book on the subject of dating. I picked up Dating Makes You Want to Die by Daniel Holloway and Dorothy Robinson. By all accounts it looked interesting with the title exclaiming “dating makes you want to die but you have to do it anyway” and adds “getting through the absurdity of dating with your soul intact.” This sounds promising right? As the old saying goes, you can’t judge a book by its cover.

This dating advice book is aimed at both sexes in the late twenties and thirties age bracket. Holloway and Robinson mention that their dating audience might be dealing with baggage like roommates or divorce fallout that might hinder their dating prowess. As I read it is obvious that the tag team duo authors are trying to copy and profit with their diluted imitation of the bestselling book He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Guide To Understanding Guys written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

The authors try to make their dating advice fun and witty with sections of back and forth “He Says / She Says” opposing views and Quizzes that question whether you are you ready to meet the parents, move in together, etc. They hit all the dating dilemmas but desperately fall short on giving good advice.

One statement that the authors come up with is “we date for one reason: so we don’t have to do it anymore.” This trite piece of observation might be true for most people but not very helpful. Another statement that annoyed me was their declaration of “a fundamental truth about relationships: they all end.” Maybe it’s the foolish romantic in me but think about how this comes off; the reader might as well put the book down and give up already!

The most disappointing part is that this book is littered with the authors low brow attempts at humour. They poke fun at dating with slurs against homosexuals, autistics, physically challenged and Muslims. I won’t repeat the actual “jokes” since they are too asinine to put into print here. I will say however, that they suggest declaring a jihad to get out of a relationship, mock Dustin Hoffman’s autistic character in the movie “Rain Man” and insinuate latent homosexuality if you don’t want to have sex by the third date. Politically correct, I think not!

Another popular expression mentions that “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”; so take my suggestion that there’s plenty of books on the shelves. You should take a pass on this read and see what else the book store has to offer. I will suggest to the female daters that you read the afore mentioned He’s Just Not That Into You series of books spawned from the “Sex And The City” television show. These books help empower women with a no-nonsense approach to figuring out the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. If you’re looking specifically for dating advice then you might want to look for a copy of the recent book It’s Just a Freakin’ Date!: A Guide To a Sane Dating Life by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt.

Dating Makes You Want To Die is basically an insipid waste of time and money with little redeeming substance or value. The advice the authors give is more snarky than sage and might even be considered insulting or offensive to some readers. I would recommend that you save the cost of Dating Makes You Want To Die and buy a ticket to take in the movie "He’s Just Not That Into You" coming to theatres in February.

Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

10 QUESTIONS WITH AUTHOR SUSAN VANDERBURG FENTIE

Susan Vanderburg-Fentie is the author of

Don't Buy THAT, You Clueless Wonder! How To Raise Your Man's Gift Giving IQ
The book is a gift-giving guide written to help communication between men and women. A Registered Nurse and co-founder of the Ontario Autism Coalition, Susan is a mother to four sons, two of whom have autism. Susan has several media credits too numerous to list here. Her more recent contributions as a TV Cogeco host, TVO producer and a research assistant for the movie Sicko show that Susan is a real dynamo! Susan is dedicated to bettering society in any way she can and believes that her sense of humour keeps her spirits alive!

How would you describe your book?

Don’t Buy That, You Clueless Wonder! How to Raise Your Man’s Gift Giving IQ is a practical yet entertaining handbook for men and women alike. Ladies can identify with the gift giving horror stories and guys can hone their gift giving abilities by utilizing the helpful how-to tips. You’ll laugh, cringe, and rejoice at the examples and information in this handy and humorous read.

What inspired you to write about the gift-giving dilemma?

I received a gag gift one Christmas. I’m a nurse and all I wanted was a plain gold wedding band to wear at work so my diamonds wouldn’t get wrecked. Instead, I got a $400 snowmobile helmet. It was addressed to me but clearly meant for him! He thought it would be funny. It wasn’t. I never did get that gold band, either!

How long did it take to research and write the book?

It took almost four years. I was on-call for work and was in the staff lounge at the hospital. I got a pen and paper, and the book was born! I came up with the title that night and it stuck. I’ve been working at it diligently in the middle of a life with four sons. Finally, I get to see it in print!

How did you go about getting published?

I have a literary agent in Toronto, and after much discussion, I decided to self-publish this book. My publishing company is Puzzle Piece Publications and I look forward to this being the first of many books to be published by them.

What kind of feedback have you received surrounding your book’s topic?

Every person I’ve discussed the book with, both male and female, thinks it’s a great idea. When I conducted my research, even perfect strangers had the same reaction. Women say, “It’s about time!” while a lot of men say, “I could use a book like that.” There’s really something for everyone in it. Many people will see themselves in the book. It’s intended to help both genders.

What advice would you give a woman who knows she has a clueless wonder for a mate?

Well, my first piece of advice is to buy my book! I have many tips on how to get through to a clueless wonder. While the stories are constructed with humor, there are some constructive tips to use as a way of getting the message across. I’ve also included examples of rather dastardly deeds that have been utilized, complete with a disclaimer. Truly, women can be very resourceful.

What advice do you have for a man who thinks he might be a clueless wonder?

Did I mention I know of a great book about shopping for women? The book has a chapter that speaks straight to the men. It’s the straight-to-the-point tips they’re looking for in order to be a success. There are stories about the guys who get it right, so they can also learn by example. My friend has already transformed from a clueless wonder to a genuine gift guru after adhering to the advice in my book. He’s reported tremendous success with his last gift purchase for his girlfriend. That’s why I wrote this book in the first place.

Where will the book be available for purchase?

It will be in stores throughout southwestern Ontario this holiday season, as well as some retailers and boutiques in the GTA. Check your local bookstores, or visit my website www.help4cluelesswonders.com to order a copy today. It’s out just in time for the holidays, too. Ladies, I suggest you buy the book and then pass it along to your mate.

What are your plans for the future?

I plan to continue to research and write about the male/female shopping dynamic and I’m eager for feedback from readers. They can visit my website and share their views and comments about the book. I’m also working with a couple of TV producers out of Toronto to produce a reality show version of the book, so be sure to keep a lookout for that.

Do you have any final words for those who might feel it’s just a hopeless situation?

I want people to know that it’s not hopeless if you can’t seem to get on the same page with your partner about gift giving. I saw very common themes in the way that men and women go about gift giving and purchasing, which is why I put all the information into a handy guide. It has tools to help and is presented in a really fun medium. Also, lame gifts aren’t an indication that men don’t care. They do care but they’re just “clueless wonders!” Help has arrived in the form of my book so you don’t have to suffer needlessly.

Libby Znaimer: From Broadcaster to Bosom Buddy

The C-Words
First you dread to hear the word CANCER

and then you wait to hear the word CURE

Libby Znaimer's book In Cancerland: Living Well Is the Best Revenge, is the author and journalist's candid account of her experience with breast cancer. The accomplished Canadian media personality doesn’t like to refer to her treatments as breast cancer battles nor does she want to be viewed as a survivor. These words are too politically correct for her and they don’t seem to ring true for her own breast cancer experience. There’s the word, experience. Znaimer tells the reader about the two C-words that changed her life forever. First she dreaded the word CANCER and then she waited to hear the word CURE. Znaimer reflects on the fateful night, “the discovery of the lump that night started a chain of events that overtook my life.” The breast cancer diagnosis, surgery, genetic testing and treatment decisions left Znaimer feeling as if she was Cancergirl visiting Cancerland. The cancer experience was somewhat of an out of body experience for the typically healthy, physically fit, self-proclaimed party girl. During her treatment, Znaimer wrote a column about her cancer experience for the National Post and eventually decided to write a book. Znaimer approached her surgery and doctor visits with her journalistic skills; researching, asking questions, and journaling. The author shares her story as if she’s speaking to a good friend, a bosom buddy if you will! She writes with a good mixture of medical information, personal candour and yes, humour, but just enough to break the tension. Znaimer speaks about the women she met who shared her experience,

“The breast cancer sisterhood makes for fast friendships, even though it’s a club no one wants to join.”

Znaimer reveals in detail what frightened her and what reassured her during her cancer experience. Each chapter deals with a subject that can be affected by the breast cancer diagnosis. She weighs in on family, friends, career, couple hood and self esteem, just to list a few. Znaimer’s mother had a mastectomy and died later in life from ovarian cancer. She regrets being a bit cavalier about her testing regime and waiting for her family doctor’s referral to a high risk breast screening program. Znaimer notes that her navigation through the health care system was haphazard but she’s also grateful for the socialized system. The spirited Znaimer serves up words of warning to women about being vigilant; keeping to a mammogram schedule and adhering to extra breast screening monitoring where recommended.

After her lumpectomy, a positive genetic test for the BRCA-2 mutation, chemotherapy, radiation and a prophylactic removal of her ovaries, Znaimer remains optimistic about her prognosis and looks forward to the possibility of breast reconstructive surgery. She’s been through her fair share of trials and tribulations but considers herself lucky! Determined to live her life as normal as possible Znaimer feels as if she’s gained “a new zest for life” to go along with her new hairstyle and color.

My mother is nearing her 20th year as a breast cancer survivor. At the early age of 47 she was diagnosed with cancer after her first routine mammogram. I'm 42 and anxiety doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings about my ever present threat. My mother insists that I “need to get a grip, just live your life and stop worrying so much!” Libby Znaimer sums up her attitude toward her “new normal” life by stating the old adage that “living well is the best revenge.”

Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

From Oprah To Chopra

Self-Help On The Shelves


If you’ve visited a book store lately and tried to navigate your way through the self-help isles then you might feel the need to take a meditation break from the dizzying number of categories and subject matter available to choose from. You can find anything from daily affirmations to the kama sutra to help spice up your sex life!

If you like to follow along with popular culture then I’ve included a few Oprah Book Club picks. I have to admit that Oprah is the go-to -gal for guru interviews and good reads! Read on for a list of current, still relevant or soon to be released books in the self-help section.


Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose is a profound read that tells the reader how to shift consciousness and deal with power of the ego. If you got anything out of The Secret then you might enjoy this book but you do need to be in the right frame of mind to let the ideas sink in and be open to the messages. Eckhart tells the reader up front “this book is about you” so you need to be ready for self reflection.


Mitch Albom’s book For One More Day is a story about second chances and the importance of family. After his mother’s death the main character Charley goes through a period of drinking and depression. His family is torn apart and he eventually commits suicide. Charley goes through a “rebirth” and gets a chance to spend a day with his mother. He gets to ask her questions, tell her how he feels and have the much needed closure that he longed for since her passing. If you recently lost a loved one or just want to have a good cry then this book is for you.


The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch is the inspirational true story told by the terminally ill professor and author. The book is especially poignant in lieu of his recent death. Through his stories and memories the author leads the reader to question his or her legacy asking what life lessons would you have to hand down to your children? Living life to the fullest and appreciating the little things in life is the author’s perspective and recommendation.


If you are a fan of the popular Chicken Soup For the Soul series of books then you would be pleased to know about this month’s release of Woman To Woman: Women Sharing Their Stories Of Hope, Humor, and Inspiration by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. This collection promises to be full of inspiring stories, advice and tips for women. The strength of the book is women supporting each other through sharing. The book is full of laughs and tears and sure to be a good bedtime read.


If you are looking for a book with a more of psychological slant then What Happy Women Know: How New Findings In Positive Psychology Can Change Women’s Lives For The Better by Dan Barker PhD. and Cathy Greenberg PhD. might be more your cup of tea. Happiness is the goal in this book and it concentrates on using the newest research and discoveries in psychology, stressing that women’s brains are wired to “feel more” so to speak. The focus is for women to draw on their own strengths to take control, avoid the self sabotaging traps and ultimately achieve a healthier and happier life.


In the book Me to We: Finding Meaning in a Material World written by Craig Kielburger and Marc Kielburger, the Toronto brothers try to motivate the reader to live a less materialistic life. They give practical advice on how to change the world around you and live a communal life. Their message is self-help through helping others. The Kielburger brothers share a great philosophy and their outlook can be an eye opener.


If you like the writings of Deepak Chopra then I can suggest his new book Why Is God Laughing? The Path to Joy and Spiritual Optimism. The fictional tale of a comedian on the road to recovery appears to be loosely based on Canadian comedian Mike Myers. You can read it just for the laughs or look for the deeper meaning in the story. This book is a good mixture of both entertainment and enlightenment.


There is one thing that all these books have in common. Either the book or the author has been endorsed in some way by Oprah. The mighty Oprah might just be the Dalai Lama of pop culture!

LIES, LOSS AND LESSONS IN LOVE

Have you ever overanalyzed a relationship after a breakup? Have you watched in dismay as a girlfriend pines over a guy who’s not worth her time? Well then, read on for a glimpse into what I would call “the eternal sunshine of the lovelorn mind.”

Diane Schoemperlen’s At A Loss For Words is a love story told in a cathartic manner through a candid character. It’s a first-hand account of a woman addicted to being in love. All the love cliches apply here; “Love is blind,” “Love conquers all” and “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” just to name a few. The novel is very readable with its “he said, she said” back and forth banter between unnamed characters. “She” is a well-known author who rekindles a romance when “he” comes back after a 30-year gap. The reunited couple carries on a long-distance relationship that serves as a distraction and catalyst for her writer’s block. She uses horoscopes, crossword puzzles and writing exercises to help find a cure for the common literary euphemism. In an attempt to keep the relationship alive, the couple tries to communicate through e-mails and phone calls. Things start off hot and heavy (literally and figuratively) but soon Jack and Jill roll down heartache hill. His sketchy contributions turn oblique, ambiguous and passive-aggressive in nature. Her frequent e-mails come off as desperate, needy and pathetic. He says their relationship is “a work in progress.” She says it’s too much work and not enough progress and sums it all up when she writes, “I am thinking about how often I hated myself for loving you. I am thinking about how it proved to be a very short leap from thinking I am crazy about you, to thinking I am just plain crazy.” In her lovesick angst, she realizes that he is stringing her along and letting their relationship die a slow death. The mementoes from the misbegotten romance just become detritus reminders of failure. As the relationship ends, she talks about the D’s: despair, despondant, desolation, desperation and depression. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not all depression talk, there’s plenty of witty thoughts and insights to keep the reader laughing whether it’s at the character or your own “been there, done that” recognition. The not-so-surprising ending adds to the theme about lessons in love that serves as a warning to women everywhere. Something to think about.

Summer Suggestions: Current Books

If you're looking forward to delving into a few good books this summer and eager for reading suggestions then look no further! You might want to pick up a book that's fresh off the presses or get into one of the tried and true classic books on the proverbial must-read list.

CURRENT BOOKS

REMEMBER ME by Sophie Kinsella

The author of the Shopaholic series of books takes the reader on Lexi Smart's intriguing tour to retrieve her memory. She awakes in a hospital bed after a car accident but the kicker is she's missing three years of her life. The story is an adventure filled with schemes and secrets, hilarity and hope.

CHANGE OF HEART by Jodi Picoult

The critically acclaimed author writes a dynamic novel about justice, retribution and salvation. June Nealon has an empty heart after the tragic loss of her daughter. Shay Bourne has lost his reason to live but finds truth and connection in an unlikely situation. The story addresses the literal and metaphorical meaning of having a heart.

THE THIRD ANGEL by Alice Hoffman

The author's novel Here On Earth has the distinction of being on the Oprah Book Club list. In The Third Angel the reader is introduced to women with the common bond of being in love with the wrong man. Madeleine is headstrong and in love with her sister's fiance. Freida is a free spirit who vies for the attention of a rock star. Bryn is torn between her fiance and her ex-husband. At the heart of the story is the tragic character Lucy who is looking for the third angel to help renew her faith. The novel is a testament to the griping nature of love.

HELPLESS by Barbara Gowdy

Bestselling author Barbara Gowdy writes a story about obsessive love. It's not a romance novel but rather a troubling tale. Celia is a single mother to nine year old Rachael who goes missing during a blackout. Stricken with guilt and terror, Celia's worst nightmares come true in the form of a misguided abductor. Suspenseful and provocative, the novel takes the reader down an uncomfortable path into a disturbing world.

CERTAIN GIRLS by Jennifer Weiner

A sequel to Good In Bed, Weiner's Certain Girls takes up where heroine Cannine Shapiro started her new life. Content in her happily ever after life Cannine's world is shook when her daughter Joy discovers her novel. Joy begins to question everything about her family and herself. The novel is about lies, loss and love in a family that just wants to be happy.

SUNDAY AT TIFFANY'S by James Patterson

Jane is a lonely girl who wishes her busy mother had more time for her. She has a friend named Michael. He's a funny, handsome and comforting man. If that's not unusual enough there's also the twist that only Jane can see him. Later in her thirties Jane becomes reacquainted with Michael but for reasons unknown to her. Sunday At Tiffany's is a novel about the power of love and the child inside of us.

A NOVEL ABOUT MY WIFE by Emily Perkins

Tom Stone is madly in love with his wife Ann but she's a mystery to him. He wants to understand her; get into her head. The couple has a complicated and emotional relationship as they deal with their new home and a new pregnancy. The novel explores the meaning behind the term "love makes you blind" as Tom discovers his wife's darker side.

LOVING FRANK: A NOVEL by Nancy Horan

A mixture of fact and fiction, the author tells the tale of the clandestine love affair between Mamah Borthwick Cheney and the renowned architect Frank Lloyd Wright. Cheney narrates her personal struggle between her responsibilities and her desires. Cheney's influence on the greatest American architect of his time is given it's full weight despite the scandal they're involvement brought to Chicago's society. A fascinating and provocative read with a stunning conclusion.

Summer Suggestions: Classic Books

CLASSIC BOOKS

THE HANDMAIDS TALE by Margaret Atwood
In this futuristic science fiction novel Atwood writes about sex slavery in the former United States. The heroine Offred recalls a different time when her life was her own. Now she is only viable as long as she can produce children. The novel inspired a movie which shocked society as much as the novel.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee
An instant best seller set inthe Depression era's American South, To Kill A Mockingbird continues to be an all-time favorite. The story is told through the eyes of eight year old Scout Finch. The author gets to the root of human behavior dealing with issue of race and class and tackles views on humanity, dignity, justice and freedom.

A TALE OF TWO CITIES by Charles Dickens
Set in London during the American revolution and Paris during the French Revoution, A Tale Of Two Cities takes the reader back to a time when spies were thought to be everywhere. Considered a classic and brimming with quotable lines such as "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." Dickens' novel captures the readers attention from start to finish.

ANNA KARENINA by Leo Tolstoy
A passionate but misguided love affair introduces issues of morality. The author own soul-searching journey asks many questions but leaves it open for the reader to interpret and answer. Still relevant in today's world, this intrguing novel still stands the test of time.

THE LIVES OF GIRLS AND WOMEN by Alice Munro
A coming-of-age story traces Del Jordan from awkward adolescence to wanton womanhood. Vivid and touching in it's details the highly acclaimed novel is a must read for every woman. It's well worth reading any books written by Alice Munro since they're sure not to disappoint.

The Complete Novels Of Jane Austen
If you're drawn to romances then this author will get you swooning. While away the summer days with the complete collection of Jane Austen's novels Sense and Sensibility, Pride And Prejudice, Emma, Mansfield Park, Persuasion, Northanger Abbey and Lady Susan. Connversation driven and full of dialogue suited to a play, several of Austen's novels have been made into movies which are worth watching as well.

ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
A satirical political allegory about the uprising of mistreated farm animals. The animals take over the farm in a revolution toward justice and equality. All goes well until the pigs gets out of hand. The quote "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely" rings true for this novel.

THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
A novel set in the Jazz Age wrought with excess and greed. Jay Gatsby has money and all it can buy but he's not satisfied. What he really wants is Daisy but she's married to Tom. The story is a testament to Fitzgerald's generation but also a timeless cautionary tale about the pursuit of the American Dream.

The Mother Loade

“The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.”

Erich Fromm

Kate Long’s novel The Bad Mother’s Handbook, introduces three generations of women trying to exist in the same household. Set in working class England, the novel presents three distinct women’s voices. The family dynamics are both entertaining and heartbreaking. With cramped quarters and one bathroom, the three women find themselves butting heads on a regular basis.
We meet Karen at age 33 as a divorced teaching assistant. She finds herself sandwiched as a caregiver to her mother and a battleaxe to her pregnant teenage daughter. Karen’s mother, known as Nan, is an 81 year old widow prone to bouts of senility and lucidity. She hides food, steals the mail and supplies a good amount of the comic relief. Nan’s childhood flashbacks serve to both fill in the family’s history blanks and cement the bonds between the three women. Karen’s daughter, Charlotte is an intelligent 17 year old who is desperately trying to find her place in the world. Her mother tells her, “You spend too much time in your own head”. Feeling neglected and bored, Charlotte becomes easily distracted by boys and the party scene. In an awful twist of fate both mother and daughter find out they both dated the same man. Both mother and daughter find themselves stubbornly closed off from each other, all the while wishing for a stronger relationship. When Charlotte finds herself heartbroken and pregnant, the tension between mother and daughter grows even more strained. When Karen tells her she’s not fit to be a mother, Charlotte yells, “At least I won’t try and make it responsible for my own shortcomings!” Karen sees her daughter’s potential and future as “squashed dreams”. Karen sees Charlotte repeating her own history of teen pregnancy. Nan’s enthusiasm toward the upcoming birth makes Karen grow even more frustrated as she feels her control slipping away.
To add to the household upheaval, both daughter and mother find out that Nan has been keeping an adoption secret. This revelation poses several challenges for the women as they search for Karen’s birth mother and their own identities. With feelings of regret and resentment, Karen questions her loyalty and ability to be both a dutiful daughter and a decent mother. Karen acknowledges her shortcomings and jokes to herself that she must be taking notes from the imaginary “Bad Mother’s Handbook”.
Long’s novel is mainly about the mother-daughter relationships but there are good male characters namely Karen’s ex-husband Steve and Charlotte’s boyfriend Daniel. The author manages to write a story that is both heart wrenching and humorous; a story about drifting apart and coming back again. A “robin hood” good read with plenty of cockney slang; you can hear the accents that go with the dialect.
Mother’s really only want what’s best for their children. Karen’s wish was for her daughter to learn from her mistakes. Karen later apologizes to Charlotte, “I’ve been rotten to you over this pregnancy. I only wanted you to have a happy life.” Truth be told, mothers can’t prevent their children from making their own mistakes. As they make their way in the world it can be hard to just stand by and not interfere. The key to a good mother-daughter relationship is to be supportive and try not to judge your daughter as a reflection of yourself.
Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

Inheriting the Holocaust

National Memorial Holocaust Day falls on April 30th this year. I thought it befitting to review a book selection keeping this topic in mind. In Marianne Meyerhoff’s book Four Girls From Berlin: A True Story of a Friendship That Defied the Holocaust the author writes a stirring memoir of her mother and her three friends growing up in Nazi ruled Berlin. Marianne’s mother Charlotte (Lotte) is Jewish and her friends, Ursula, Ilonka and Erica are Christians.
Meyerhoff was born in America and grew up in Los Angeles with her mother Lotte as her sole family connection. Lotte the only person in her family to escape Hitler’s grasp. Marianne’s father survived as well but remarried after the war. He was not a significant presence in her life. Lotte was a proud American who maintained that she never wished to return to the homeland that rejected her. Traumatized by her past, Lotte was silent about the details of her early life in Berlin. Meyerhoff writes, “The lips of people whom war afflicts so often remained silent...”
Meyerhoff has always had an insatiable drive and determination to connect with her past. She wanted answers and details. She was compelled to fill in the gaps of her family history and strived to collect every bit of knowledge about her Jewish heritage. Meyerhoff muses, “What sort of future could I have with no sense of the past?” She managed to draw out some names from her mother but none of their stories. Then there was a break in the silence. There was an awakening for Lotte and Marianne when a box arrives from Berlin. The box contained a cache of family treasures. Lotte’s friends had risked their lives to collect and hide her family keepsakes. The box of mementoes fuelled Marianne’s curiosity. As a young woman, Meyerhoff eventually travels to Berlin and re-connects with her mother’s friends and their families. She gains insight about her own family history and finds herself adopting them as her own extended family.
The book is presented like a journal and a scrapbook all in one. It includes photos of family, friends and scenic locations like the Black Forest along with documents, letters and heirlooms. The author’s detailed dialogue scream out for a movie script which is no surprise since Meyerhoff also dons hats as both a director and producer for television and cinema. Meyerhoff’s research called her to become involved as an interviewer for Steven Spielberg’s Holocaust oral history project called Survivors of the Shoah.
The author’s family history is a story of persistent human spirit and enduring friendship triumphing in the wake of tragedy. The friendship between the four heroines withstood the tests of time, distance and the horrors of humanity. Meyerhoff writes her story as a plea for the victims of the Holocaust. The author sounds off about dwelling on guilt, giving forgiveness and the need for catharsis but stresses more the importance of acknowledgement and remembrance. All of humanity is responsible for the Holocaust. It’s a world of shame indeed. The children of Holocaust survivors have inherited both the history of the Holocaust atrocities and the legacy of silence. The author exclaims that we need to “break the silence with which history cloaks it’s violence.” If we fail to speak, teach and learn about this epochal dark period of “humanity” then the silence will continue from generation to generation. This reminds me of the popular quote from the philosopher George Santayana states “those who cannot remember history are condemned to repeat it.”
Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

Inheriting The Holocaust was published in the April '08 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.

Tête-à-tête

Imagine having a twin sister. Now, imagine having a conjoined twin sister, a craniopagus conjoined twin sister at that!

In the fictitious novel The Girls author Lori Lansens introduces sisters, Rose and Ruby Darlen. Set in rural, southern Ontario, the girls are born in 1974 during a destructive tornado. Their unwed teen aged birth mother was passing through their town and eventually fled after giving birth to them. The sisters have separate bodies and minds, save for a bonding of their heads. After their whirlwind entrance into the world, Rose and Ruby are raised on a farm by Aunt Lovey, the nurse who attended their birth, and her husband Uncle Stash. The conjoined sisters or "the girls" as they are called, share an extraordinary but surprisingly ordinary life.

Lansen's intuition and imagination help her portray a sensitive account of the girls' shared life experience. The author tells each sister's story as a narrative memoir. The reader alternates from chapter to chapter, bouncing back and forth between both sets of eyes just like the way people look and stare at them. Rose is the writer and the avid sports fan. Ruby is the collector of native artifact. Rose is strong and carries the weight (literally) of Ruby, the sickly sister. Their personalities are very different which lead to conflicts and pinching episodes. Even with their different perspectives and distinct voices, the pair of inseparable sisters love, respect and support each other. They have jobs, experience love and sex, oh yes, and they live relatively normal existences despite their situation as they call it. At the age of 29, they get the distinct notoriety of being the oldest living craniopagus twins in history. The sisters struggle with their declining health and their impending demise as they race the clock to finish writing their book "Autobiography Of A Conjoined Twin" Rose hopes to make it to the ripe old age of 30 and Ruby attempts to plan a surprise birthday party for her sister. The lives of Rose and Ruby might make the reader rethink what it means to be independent, brave and strong. The girls are true survivors and heroines, determined to live life to it's fullest and not as sideshow freaks mind you! Rose muses, "There has never been a possibility of my being separated from Ruby. We have know it could not be, and declared that ever if we could, we wouldn't."

The author has strong empathy for her characters as she describes their lives, family, friends and neighbours. The characters are well developed and very believable. As a point of special interest, the author was born and raised in Chatham and also wrote the critically aclaimed novel Rush Home Road. She slips in the local charm and references locations and landmarks from her "neck of the woods". As I was reading, I just kept thinking that there's so many layers to Lansen's writing. Chronologically speaking, there's a bit more jumping around than I would have liked to have experienced, a sort of reading turbulance, but nonetheless a worthwhile read. Touching and hilarious at times, The Girls is like a rare flower or gem to be cherished and admired just like Rose and Ruby. Their connection isn't purely of a physical nature but a deeper, entwined meshing of their souls. How fortunate it would be to share such a bond! Whether a life is considered ordinary or extraordinary, just being human is our shared experience and we're all connected in some way afterall.
Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

Tête-à-tête will be published in the March '08 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.

OPTIMISM In The Face Of AUTISM

You may be familiar with the name Jenny McCarthy but I must admit that I haven’t been following her career too closely. McCarthy is a comedic actress, television personality, playboy playmate and a best selling author. McCarthy has written books about pregnancy, motherhood and marriage in Belly Laughs, Baby Laughs and Life Laughs.
I never thought Jenny and I would have anything in common other than our mutual appreciation for Jim Carrey movies. As it turns out we both have sons with autism. In her recent book Louder Than Words: A Mother’s Journey In Healing Autism McCarthy takes a departure from her usual humourous writing. In this book she gives the reader a brutally frank and honest account of her struggles dealing with her son’s autism, failing marriage and more recent spotty career.
The author starts out describing a harrowing tale where she finds her two year old son Evan laying in his crib having a life-threatening seizure. McCarthy later reflects on this incident as a giant wake up call. Dealing with the wrong diagnosis of epilepsy Evan then goes through a terrible ordeal experimenting with two different seizure medications and dealing with the resulting side effects. At one point McCarthy wondered if she would have to choose between Evan the psycho kid or the zombie kid. Readers go on a very bumpy ride along McCarthy’s journey to the world of autism. After her son’s delayed diagnosis, the author gains insight through another celebrity, Holly Robinson Peete, who has an older son with autism. Robinson Peete tells McCarthy to imagine her son is stuck behind a window that she needs to pull him through. This image works well if you consider the common belief that there’s a limited window of opportunity to get through to autistic children.
McCarthy teases that she deserves a degree from the "University of Google"after all the internet searching in her quest for answers and treatments to help her son. One thing the author swears by is her son’s gluten free and casein free diet which limits wheat and dairy products. Evan, now five years old, still maintains this diet today. She also credits her son’s continued improvement to Intensive Behavioral Intervention a.k.a. IBI therapy. McCarthy gives her opinion on a variety of treatments, therapies and sounds off on the long waiting lists and inordinate costs to treating autism. McCarthy tries to keep a level head throughout her ordeal but continues to question why or how her son developed autism in the first place. As far as the controversial vaccine theory she weighs in on this topic too. McCarthy wishes there were a test available to assess a child’s vulnerability before they get a vaccine.
McCarthy credits her tenacious drive to her strong maternal instinct and deep connection to her son. McCarthy sees herself as a messenger of hope and help. She wants autistic moms, as she calls them, to find faith that their child can get better. McCarthy isn’t wearing a pair of rose colored designer shades here either. She notes that there are children who never seem to improve or advance in therapy and warns that early intervention is crucial. McCarthy insists that all parents and pediatricians need to be aware of the signs or red flags that could be characteristics of autism. First time mom’s might miss the signs because they are not as familiar with early childhood milestones or development stages. They may see their child’s behaviors as cute or unique traits to their child and just brush them off. This is where the professionals need to be educated and alert. McCarthy reflects on missing her son’s signs of autism like his excited hand flapping, tip toe walking, lack of eye contact, spinning objects and fixating on moving parts, just to name a few. If anyone made a comment about her son’s behavior or remarked on his shortcomings then she went into what I would call defend and denial mode. To add to her confusion Evan had an amazing memory and he was verbal which is contrary to one popular myth about autism. On the other end we have the movies "Rain Man" and "What’s Eating Gilbert Grape." These are both excellent movies but they neglect to represent the less obvious cases on the autism spectrum.
McCarthy wanted to share her story not to evoke sympathy but to raise awareness and to encourage parents to become strong advocates for their children with autism. If you are a parent, care giver, family member or friend of a person with autism there is so much to learn from reading this book. If you don’t know anyone with autism then I will still recommend this story if you want to gain an insight into the world of autism. McCarthy insists that the best way to help a family with an autistic child is to give them your time. My advice to parents would be to hold onto hope and harness every bit of help you can. I will save my son’s story for another time. Come to think of it, maybe it’s time I write my own book.
Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

Optimism In The Face Of Autism was published in the Jan/Feb '08 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.

Hope For The Holidays

If you are a fan of the Chicken Soup For the Soul series of books then you would enjoy reading the work of Christine Pisera Naman. The author is a contributor to the afore mentioned series of books and now writes her first work of fiction, Christmas Lights. In this novel, Naman tells us the tales of ordinary women living extraordinary lives. She takes us through the heartwarming stories of seven women. Their lives are filled with struggles and triumphs; all met with faith, hope and love. We meet each woman on Christmas Eve, each waiting for a sign of Christmas spirit or looking for a reason to celebrate the holiday. The author captures the essence of the holiday spirit with her poignant story telling style and through her relatable characters. As readers she leads us to feel as if we already know these women. In each story the unique characters get a chance to reflect on their events of the last year and eventually rediscover the magic and wonder of Christmas. As Christmas Eve approaches each woman realizes that the holiday season is a time to be thankful and fill their home and hearts with love.
I won’t get into the individual stories or the women’s connections since that should be left for the reader to experience. I wish I could tell you the relevance of the book’s title and the wonderful ending that unfolds but I will restrain myself once again. I will say that the seven women have more in common aside from their collective choice to don a red sweater on Christmas Eve. This novel is aptly suited and inspiring for the festive season and sure to conjure up a sleigh full of memories. So set aside a long, quiet afternoon and cozy up to this read but I suggest you have a box of tissue on hand. No matter the trials and tribulations or stress and strife in our life we can and should take some time to count our blessings.
Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

Hope For The Holidays was published in the December '07 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.

"It's A Good Thing" We're Not All Martha Stewart

Unless you’ve spent the last 20 or so years living on a deserted island, you would be familiar with the name Martha Stewart. I was thinking "unless you’ve been in prison" but that wouldn’t make much sense since this might make you a Martha fan considering her recent activities.
I must admit to viewing the occasional Martha show and I do flip through her magazines in waiting rooms from time to time. As I’m writing this review Martha is making pumpkin place cards and obsessing over cute canine costumes. It’s hard to watch the show and stay focused on the crafting steps since I keep rolling my eyes. I imagine that most women have thought about or taken on one of the domestic diva’s recipes, crafts or household tips. Am I right? I’m definitely guilty as charged.
Over the summer months I happened upon a couple of television interviews of Canadian bestselling author Janice Wells. I was eager to read her book called Definitely Not Martha Stewart: Domestic Tales Of Starting Over. The author is a down-to-earth woman who writes a newspaper column in the style of Erma Bombeck. In Definitely Not Martha Stewart, Wells compiles a group of her columns into a wonderful read that’s full of witty thoughts, friendly neighborhood gossip and name dropping. Reading her book is like spending time chatting with a good girlfriend. Wells would be the first to point out that she has a love/hate relationship with Martha even though she tries like some of us to hold up to her impossible domestic standard. Wells contemplates, "deep in the heart of every woman lives a Martha Stewart. It doesn’t matter how liberated or non-traditional we are, the only differences in any of us are the circumstances of life that have nurtured or sublimated or completely eradicated our nesting instincts."
After the author’s twenty year marriage ends in divorce we see Janice Wells start over from scratch. Through the pages we follow the author and her two daughters across a dizzying number of moves schleping between Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. Wells considers herself to be somewhat of a gypsy in practice but tends to hunker down and give in to her nesting nature when she feels for the comforts of home. Picture a woman whose decorating style includes hanging a hammock in her living room. Wells gives her readers tips on how to furnish a home with yard sale deals and dressing in fashion finds with thrift store style. With an indomitable spirit and drive to renovate, time and time again, Wells laments over household projects gone awry and invariably makes do with her humble abode. One tasty tips recommended by Wells is, "To loosen a rusty bolt, soak a rag in Coke, wrap it around the bolt, add the rest to a couple of ounces of rum, drink, then try the bolt." This reminds me to read the author’s bestseller The Gin And Tonic Gardener. The author goes through a few stints catering to boarders and gives us her best Thanksgiving culinary tip. Stressing the importance of gravy she insists simply that we "make lots of it." Practical and to the point much like the author herself. When it comes to Martha inspired crafts, Wells ends up cajoling her friend into making their own concrete planters. The author reflects on her failed planter and quips, "...if the feeling ever comes over me again, I should just lie down until it goes away."
Wells credits her good humour for getting her through life and basically laughs through her tears. In her columns the author writes her stories making sure not to take herself or her circumstances too seriously. I’m sure we could all take some advice from Wells and try to focus on the positive things in our everyday lives instead of stressing over all the nitty gritty details. Maybe Martha herself should take a break from all the fuss and bother and read Definitely Not Martha Stewart. I dare say Martha could use a tip or two from Janice.
Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

"It's A Good Thing" We're Not All Martha Stewart was published in the November '07 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.

Dedication vs Dignity

Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall or wondered what really goes on behind your back? Working mothers have to consider out sourcing some of their motherly duties from time to time. Whether it’s a neighbourhood babysitter, staff members in a daycare setting or a live-in nanny, it’s every mother’s nightmare to imagine the worst about their child’s care giver. Parents can succumb to suspicious fears and desperately resort to spying tactics with the use of nanny cams and the like. Trust is a very important issue for parents but we rarely get to see things from the caretakers point of view.
In The Nanny Diaries, former nannies Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus combine their years of childcare experience and writing talents to weave a fictitious, satirical tale about a middle class nanny working for a filthy rich family. Recalling their nanny job interviews, the authors speak through the character suitably named "Nanny." She describes the interaction "much as I imagine a john and a call girl must make the deal, while trying not to kill the mood."
Set in New York, the story is told through the eyes of a childhood development grad student at NYU. Nanny manages to fund her education and a small apartment waiting for sporadic envelopes of cash working for a family known as the X’s. A predictable movie plot, the story unfolds with humorous accounts of struggles and strife between Nanny and the out of touch mother, Mrs. X. Tensions grow as Nanny’s list of duties starts out typically as a part time caretaker for the X’s son Grayer but quickly grows into full time servitude as Mrs. X’s "errand girl". Nanny develops an ongoing battle between her dedication and her dignity. Nanny ends up with chores like looking for Christmas gifts for the X’s service providers and filling their envelopes with bonuses. Financially strapped and looking forward to her own bonus, Nanny is consumed with anger and frustration over Mr. X’s thoughtless gift to her. She opens the box to find earmuffs.
One of the sad parts of the story is the fact that Nanny has to continually try to keep things together for the psychologically scarred son. Desperate for his fathers attention and approval, four year old Grayer wears his father’s tie somewhat like a proverbial hair shirt.
Nanny finds herself torn between being "at the ready" for service and remaining tight- lipped about the family drama unfolding around her. Nanny knows the X’s secrets. One of the contentious issues for Nanny comes up with her discovery that Mr. X is having an affair with a co-worker. Nanny spends time trying to cover up for his indiscretions in futile attempts to protect Mrs. X from the sordid details. In addition, Nanny also ends up dealing with the unconscionable demands from the mistress to stock the fridge for her rendevous with Mr. X. She also warns Nanny that telling Mrs. X would only prevent her from needing to leave her panties out to be found.
The story reads like a movie script with dialogue and scenery set up just ripe for a chick flick. This is where I mention that a movie based on The Nanny Diaries is due to hit theaters this September. I usually prefer to rent movies and watch them in the comfort of my home but in this case I will be waiting in line to see this one played out on the big screen. I’m sure the female characters will be as colorful as the book portrays but hope the males get better attention than developed in the book version. There is a romantic interest here with Nanny’s "Harvard Hottie" but not given much momentum to keep the readers interest going.
Nanny’s charge Grayer begins as a test of her patience but eventually she grows too attached to him. One interesting comment about working as a nanny is stated right at the set out of the book saying "to do the job well is to lose it." The ever present threat to the mother is that the Nanny will do the job too well and eventually replace her in the child’s heart.

Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

Dedication vs Dignity was published in the July/August '07 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.

Imagination Is Everything

The Chinese food was getting cold. We were stuck waiting at our second red light when I exclaimed, "we will get green lights all the way home!" My husband laughed and said something like "sure, whatever" and resumed his driving. I kept the thought and truly believed that we would sail all the way home without interruption. Six green lights later we were laughing! I know most people would say that was just pure luck or an insignificant test of my new special powers, but I know different.

When I was assigned the task to read and review The Secret by Rhonda Byrne I was decidedly pessimistic; basically I had a negative attitude toward the book. Noting the flip-flopping support from some media reviews, and even with the thumbs up from the well respected Oprah, I was prepared to expose the book as a bunch of bunk. My approach was quite interesting if you know that the book is about the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking. Clearly I had some things to learn!


The author started out with the idea to bring the secret of The Secret to the world. Byrne compiles an impressive group of past and present thinkers who follow The Secret teachings. The book includes personal accounts of success, healing and personal growth using the 3 step Creative Process of Ask, Believe and Receive. The book quotes Matthew 21:22,

"Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive".

The Secret teaches many things but the main idea is that everything starts out with a thought and the universal mind is listening. There are plenty of creative analogies describing us as magnets and being able to write what we want on our blackboard of life. To condense it in all in one phrase; our positive or negative thoughts are delivered back to us. Buddha says,

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought".

The book includes several good quotes from great thinkers and avatars. To support the Visualize to Materialize power the author uses a quote from Albert Einstein which declares,

"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions".

There is some concerns with the books, mainly with the claims to cures from the healing mind. The book does present some stories in support of the "laughter is the best medicine" approach to healing but it also gives modern medicine its proper place in curing disease. The author is careful to include a disclaimer at the start of the book. There is little mention of the topic of mental illness and the book neglects to explain why bad things happen to the innocent. For instance, a child can be born with a fatal disease so how do the infants thoughts come into play? I would also like to note the uncomfortable feeling I experienced with the frequent use of the word perfect used to describe our attainable aspirations. Maybe we are not supposed to take it that literally.

I would recommend this book for anyone who might be questioning their purpose on the earth or just in search of a good self help book for a change. I’m going to go as far to say that there is something in The Secret for everyone. It just depends on how receptive you are to the new way of thinking and open to a different level of awareness. The teachings of The Secret should speak to everyone in some way. Actually, the book will speak to you personally with the capitalization of the word 'You' throughout.

I have a few suggestions on how to go about reading this book. Make sure you have a quiet space to read in order to give the book your full attention. Read the biographies for the contributors before you get started. Once you start the book be ready to take notes. If you get any of those "light bulb moments" then be compelled to write them down. After each section take the time to absorb the teachings and reflect on how it fits into your life. You may feel the need to read the book again or be left wanting more so there are the options to visit the website, see the movie and listen to the audio cd’s. The author recommends opening The Secret at any random page to find answers when seeking guidance.
The one teaching I would like to incorporate into my life is to begin each day listing or reflecting on my blessings. In other words we should live our lives with an attitude of gratitude.

Something to think about...

Wanda Lynne Young

Imagination Is Everything was published in the October '07 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.

A Guardian For Mothers

In the month of May we celebrate mothers. We all share the universal experience of being born from a mother. One way or another we entered the world any way ranging from a natural birth at home to a cesarian section operation in a hospital.
In The Birth House author Ami McKay takes us back to the basics to visit the closely knit community of Scots Bay, Nova Scotia. Set in a WWI backdrop the people of "The Bay" are raised on brown bread, shad and tea. With no electricity, telephone or automobiles in the town, the community relies on the healing powers and advice of a midwife for a variety of ailments and childbirth assistance.
The story is told through the eyes of teenaged Dora Marie Rare who finds a kindred spirit in the towns old midwife, Miss Marie Babineau. A victim of gossip and somewhat of an outcast in social settings Miss B. is known as a witch, or an angel "as long as she’s got the gift whenever they need it." Free-spirited Dora considers herself to be a black sheep of sorts being the only girl born after five generations of the Rare family name. Dora was also born with a caul over her eyes. Miss B. sees this as a sign that she "sees more than us all." The old midwife decides to take Dora under her wing and teaches her the art of "catching babies.’ Dora learns tricks like blowing cayenne pepper off a feather to encourage a tired mother to push!
Contentions arise when Dr. Gilbert Thomas opens up a maternity home in a nearby town. The womens social groups topics soon turn from knitting and idle gossip to concerns about issues of women’s rights and control over their bodies. There ensues debates between the doctor encouraging the latest scientific medical procedures, metal tools and drugs and the traditional midwife who uses common sense intuition, prayers and natural herbal remedies.
The novel is wonderfully written with an interesting mix of characters, scenes and period references to a time of prohibition, rum running, book banning and burning. The author takes us along with Dora to visit Halifax at the time of the explosion and Boston during the suffragist movement for the women’s right to vote. The reader gets to follow Dora on her coming of age journey and witness her devotion to her craft despite modern time influences.
McKay draws you in to the story as if you are reading from an old scrapbook with the addition of newspaper clippings, advertisements, letters, herbal concoctions and even a recipe for Groaning Cake. I might try to bake this one myself but I won’t be mixing the batter in between contractions as traditionally recommended!
The author writes with a down to earth style and treats her story with a good dose of Acadian folklore and maritime traditions. Being from the East Coast myself I really enjoyed the local dialogue and colloquialisms. Like the midwives depicted in the novel McKay also displays a great deal of insight with her writing. Miss B. advised Dora "No matter what you do, someone always knew you would."
One thing for certain is we all owe some gratitude to midwives who act as spiritual guardians for mothers and help bring us into the world.
Something to think about...



Wanda Lynne Young




A Guardian For Mothers was published in the May '07 issue of Real Women Magazine in the Reader's Corner column.